我的继坶我的性老师

Nixilei shrugged, "Medium term, we\'re committed to this round of the tournament. Not only have we summoned you for it already, we spent the time to travel here, and just backing out a literal day before the round starts would be seen as horribly poor form. Short term, I\'m not totally sure. We need to get on a boat tomorrow morning, presumably with Thyme on it, but until then plans are quite flexible. 

"The other three are too busy wallowing to allow them the chance to look around properly at the time, but you\'re free to do so once I show you where we\'re staying. The question of how hard we\'re going to try in this round… is one that will probably come up and also just as likely be dismissed. Nobody wants to intentionally lose the round, and with you on our side, victory is a real possibility. Not one we want to taint…

"But as I\'ve said a few times now, nobody is feeling \'good\' going into this round. I suspect that depending on the challenge, we might be looking at a string of losses we\'ll have to work hard to overcome later on. Sorry Kat, but we\'ll be relying on you performing well to keep us afloat until emotions settle.

"As for long term? All our long term plans are potentially at risk and nobody is looking fondly at them for the moment. I suppose we\'re all sort of waiting to see if we can pull ourselves through this round despite the hardships before we seriously consider our plans… though depending on Gareth and Green\'s argument, we might have a plan before the end of the round. Not sure what Thyme has planned this time, he didn\'t tell us how many days we needed for it," explained Nixilei. 

*That\'s a bit of a bummer. I sort of want to explore the town, make it a bit of a date… but on the other hand I\'m not sure I want to just leave Green and Gareth alone with each other and risk them fighting too much. Perhaps we could help calm things down? If we can\'t do it with words, my aura would be up for the task.* 

[While it would be a shame to miss out on a date, I\'m pretty sure that no hidden assassins will prevent us from having a nice date after this is all over. So I\'m perfectly fine with putting it off till the end. Of course… with that being said… I\'m not sure how much we can really help. Grief is not an easy thing to deal with, and we don\'t know if your aura will help or hinder long term.]

[Sure, you can probably keep them calm in your presence, and stop any further arguments until the tournament is really going, but if we\'re separated like we have been in the past, then what happens? I don\'t think we\'ve ever really tested it, and certainly not with something like grief. Anger is more of a temporary affliction. Once it\'s been squashed, it\'s gone. Grief though… just because you\'re not sad about something for a bit, doesn\'t mean you\'ve stopped grieving.]

[What could be worse, is if all that grief is just pushed down instead of away. Like… looking at a messy table and throwing it off to get a clean one. If you throw it in the bin, it\'s dealt with, but if you just throw it on the floor you\'re going to trip as soon as you try to actually use the table for something.]

*Bit of a strange way of explaining it, but I get the idea, and agree with it. I\'m not even sure how we would test something like that properly. Though, I do wonder if even in the worst case scenario I should try using my aura while they sleep. Might be worth asking Nixilei if everyone has been managing to sleep well, because I could at least help with that. Even if all the issues pile on in the morning, a good nights rest will help deal with it.*

[Yes… I suppose that might be worth it. Perhaps ask Nixilei?]

"Hey Nixilei, how has everyone been sleeping lately?" asked Kat. 

"I do not understand the question," said Nixilei. 

"Hmm… perhaps if I explain. So Lily and I were debating about what we wanted to do for the rest of the day, and that led us to the fact I can calm people with my aura… but we don\'t know if it would actually help at all. Grief is a lot less fleeting then anger. I don\'t know if I\'m soothing the issue, or just suppressing it with my aura. So we decided it wouldn\'t be worth risking it…

"Until I mentioned that I could use it while everyone is asleep to help you all get a good night\'s rest. It still has the same risk of course… but I felt like giving everyone a chance for a better sleep might be worth it. I\'d say it\'s likely to improve our chances at winning, and I\'ve been sleeping almost every night during my break so I\'m well rested enough to not be put out by my own lost sleep. In fact, I might spend the night practicing anyway, so it\'s really no issue," explained Kat. 

Nixilei tapped her chin to show she was thinking about it before answering, "It\'s certainly worth considering. I doubt that Green or Gareth would agree to it… but technically I have permission from both of their parents to override their complaints when it comes to matters of their health. I could argue this is a treatment… and just give you permission myself. I\'m not totally sold on the idea, but it\'s worth considering at the very least," 

"Not sure how I feel about not telling them… but it shouldn\'t be a major issue. If you think it\'s best I won\'t mention it. I do trust you enough, and they trust you as well. Especially Green. I know you\'d never do something to hurt her… it just leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth to give them no warning at all," said Kat. 

Nixilei nodded in understanding, "If that\'s the case we can tell them I\'m going to enforce it. While it will potentially be an extra source of stress, if it\'s making you uncomfortable, I can just tell them, and then inform them they have no choice but to go through with it. Might be some arguments about it, but they won\'t be hard to win," 

"Thanks Nixilei. I\'d just feel better if it was done that way. It\'s not mind control sure, but I don\'t exactly like using it on people without their permission. I\'m sure it would have plenty of combat applications if I cared to test them out… but I really have no desire to test such a thing," said Kat. 

"It\'s no problem, I understand. Most healers take a number of courses on ethics that cover what you should and shot not do with your powers to avoid giving healers a bad name. Of course, I took a very different class about how to horribly exploit those same values as a spy, but I still try not to abuse my healing affinity much," admitted Nixilei. 

"Does that come up often?" asked Kat. 

"Surprisingly? No. Perhaps it\'s because I\'ve mostly been assigned as bodyguard and counter intelligence for Green, but there have been very few situations were my healing powers could kill someone in a more efficient way then just stabbing whoever it was. Do remember though, I\'ve been trained more for intelligence gathering. My job as a bodyguard does mean I have combat training…

"But I mostly got this role because I\'m also a healer. They don\'t need to assign a healer, or medic as well as a bodyguard to Green this way. Green never wanted a big group of followers, but I can act more as her friend in most situations, so it\'s never put a strain on our relationship, either professionally, or personally. Though it does cause some minor annoyances of course," explained Nixilei

"Well I\'m glad you haven\'t had to regularly compromise your morals," said Kat. 

Nixilei shook her head quickly, "Oh I don\'t do it for any moral reason. I accept that I\'m not a great person moral wise. I just recognise that deliberately damaging the reputation of healers is a good way to ruin yourself in the long term. It might mean less access to healing, for either myself or my friends. It may also mean that I\'m kept from more powerful healing knowledge for fear I\'ll misuse it. Sure the moral argument is a small benefit, but really not the main one," retorted Nixilei. 

"Oh… well thanks for sharing," said Kat awkwardly. *I mean… she\'s not wrong but I… well no she was pretty clear that her morals had been a bit skewed by her upbringing. Then again, I spent hours talking to Meng, and Nixilei seems well adjusted in comparison. Perhaps I just have higher expectations because Nixilei is a friend?*