我的藏獒开了我的花苞

Mother and father were furious with me for my stubbornness and placed me in complete lockdown here. I was unable to escape their bounds and it pained me that I was incapable of spending time with Phobos for the prior five months.

Alternatively, Deimos would come to visit us at our pack once every month yet his brother has not made an appearance. I tried calling only for it to be left unanswered. Deimos said that Phobos has been immensely busy for he is nineteen now and his training has progressed to become harder. I understand this, I do. But how can one be so busy that he cannot answer my call for even a minute?

Mother always says, \'There is no such thing as being busy for one shall always make time for whom they prioritize.\' Am I least of importance to him? But we are best friends. This is not how things should be between us and what of my training that he promised to guide me through?

"Theia, stop it." My brother commands striding forward to welcome his playmate. "Be nice."

"I am nice, I am merely protesting." I pout to his reprimand. No wolf understands the friendship Phobos and I possess not even my brother.

The car stops by the fountain mounted in front of our packhouse, shiny black polished shoes with a sharp tip come into the light to greet us. It is a must to welcome wolves in front of the gate despite how close or distant their bonds could be. Deimos grins widely giving us a small wave of acknowledgement, he adores visiting us for he says he does not get to leave the castle much.

"Theia does not seem pleased to see me," Deimos says his voice echoing towards us followed by a curt laugh as I stick my tongue out towards him with playfulness.

"It is always a pleasure, Alpha Deimos," I reply in a feigned sickly honeyed voice as his laugh intensifies to my antics.

"I did not come alone. Your best friend is here." Deimos mutters to me pointing behind him whilst taking moderate steps to where we stand. His words demand time to digest but when they do my heart pounds with emotion and enthusiasm towards the one who has arrived as a surprise.

My eyes broaden to his words whilst I turn my attention back to the parked car. The car door is unlocked to bring forth Phobos into sight. "Phobos!" I call his name with glee my feet taking me to him at a hastened pace. I see no wolf but him, the male I was waiting for.

Arms wide I collide into him with an enormous power clutching him around his waist pressing my cheek to his belly. His steps falter backwards to the intensity of my body meeting his whilst he settles his palm upon my head caressing me setting a tender chuckle free at my antics.

"Hello, little one." His gruff rumbling voice beckons me, how is it possible that it has merely been a few months yet he seems different to me? His voice, his appearance, the feel of hands. Is it because males physically mature faster than females?

I peek up at him repressing my overwhelming emotions to wail and complain about my coerced lockdown here. "I missed you," I whisper offering him a broad smile. I missed him so much I cannot put it in words, he is my family after all.

"I missed you too, Theia." He replies ocean blues take me in with a delicateness whilst he strokes my head gently.

"Alpha Phobos." My father\'s voice welcomes him with a formality whilst I turn to witness his demeanour. Mother is here as well. They both bow sincerely with reverence as I frown with confusion. He is merely a juvenile yet why do they regard him with so much honour?

"Alpha Phobos? He is merely Phobos. They called you Alpha!" I giggle glancing up at him whilst teasing the way my parents received his presence.

"P-Please forgive her disrespect, we shall discipline her accordingly. She tends to forget her place most times. Come here, Theia." My mother bends further, her scorching glare set free to strike me as my eyes broaden and I gulp to my mother\'s soaring wrath.

Phobos laughs inaudibly whilst ruffling my hair with playfulness. "Alpha Uranus. Luna Gaia." He greets them with a curt nod delivered to each. "It is alright, I quite enjoy your female\'s company. You are raising her well."

Mother and father are unaware of Phobos\'s and my friendship for they constantly presume I proceed to his pack to engage with Deimos for we are of the same age but I never corrected their assumptions either fearing they might say I am bothering Phobos and forbid me from leaving.

"Thank you, Alpha. May we ask the reason for your presence today?" Father questions with curiosity that simmers underneath.

"I wished to spend some time with Theia, I brought her a small present that I wanted to offer." He answers as I bounce on the pads of my feet with zest. I cannot believe it, this is the first time I would be receiving a gift from him.

"A present? For me? What is it? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me." I tug on the sleeve of his shirt attempting to earn an answer to satisfy my surging curiosity. What could it be? Perhaps a toy for he knows my adoration of them. Or perhaps art supplies for he comprehends how much I cherish sketching and painting.

My parents seem to be confused by his wish yet neither hesitance nor opposition comes from them. "Of course, Alpha Phobos." My father says offering me a sharp growl of censuring. An indirect warning expressed commanding me to behave, I pay heed to him clutching my hands together quietening down with a meekness. I do not wish to be punished.

Phobos cannot restrain his teasing smile whilst he offers his hand for me to take. "You always spoke of your room. Will, you not show me? I am here now aren\'t I?" His voice affectionate he nods forward as a sign that he shall allow me to lead him.

This is the first time Phobos has entered my pack lands for he dislikes being pushed into unpredictable situations and foreign places. Despite it being a circumstance that instils caution within me my trust in him does not permit it.

"Follow me!" I titter with contentedness while preparing to sprint towards the stairs that lead to my room. I cannot wait to show him my drawings, my puzzles, everything!

"Alpha Phobos, have you eaten? If not, what would you like? We can-" Mother begins to question taking brief steps towards him in anticipation of his response.

"Luna Gaia, please be candid with me. I am merely here for a few minutes, I have already eaten thank you." He smiles at her with that rare softness that he sets loose once in a while, I have never seen him beam this way to any wolf except for me. Perhaps he likes her as well.

"Of course, Alpha Phobos. I truly hope you shall enjoy your day here." Mother gleams at him with admiration. She likes him too, quite uncanny to see for mother dislikes males who tend to be beastly and wild and Phobos is the definition of what she disapproves of.

"I shall appreciate wherever your female is for she is unlike any other pup." I notice the bewildered look painted upon my parent\'s face to his approval of me, they find his words unbelievable for I am what you call a mischievous and unruly pup.

"Phobos hurry!" I yell to regain his attention whilst climbing up the stairs taking two at a time, I am quite sure mother is already displeased with my actions for they are unfeminine but Phobos is here and he shall support me. I am merely taking a leap of faith here with my antics.

I race towards my room yanking the door open, my heart hammering with excitement. I wonder what he shall deem of my room, I have always desired to reveal to him its contents and bring him here to play.

"Theia, may I come in?" He asks with a feeble knock to the wooden door instead of barging in despite it being wide open inviting his presence. His manners tend to amaze me at certain times, even my parents do not request politely before entering for they state why must one be mannerful to a ten-year-old pup.

"Yes, come in." I beam at him whilst he enters leisurely eyes taking in the essence of my bedroom. I march behind him to seal the door however he halts my action.

"Keep the door open."

"Why? I always close it when I have friends over." I frown at his instruction, is he uncomfortable? Does he not like closed places?

"Do you have males over?" His eyes blaze with a powerful intensity whilst he suspects me, as though he even detested the thought of it. It both intrigues and frightens me simultaneously.

"None except for your brother and Deimos," I am quick to answer him with my truth attempting to dodge his potential scolding. I do not possess any male friends other than these three.

"Good. You mustn\'t close doors when you are in an enclosed space with a male who is not your family. Do you understand?" He asks orbs narrowing firmly seeking for me to respond with a guarantee.

"Not even you?" I inquire. It is a simple matter, if my door is shut neither mother nor father disrupts and I can indulge in playing with no interruptions. I am unable to grasp the reason behind his words.

"You can do so only with me but when you mature into a full-grown adult female. Now answer me."

"I understand, I shall not close doors when I am with a male who is not my family," I declare the words I memorized and offer him a curt nod with a miniature sense of confidence. I shall do whatever he desires as long as it pleases him. For I suppose if he is happy with me only then would he choose to spend time and play with me.

He grants me a smile of affirmation whilst he takes his time to wander around the room engraving what it beholds. "You drew these?" He asks as inquisitive astonished blues analyze my drawings taped to the wall.

"Yes, I did."

"This is magnificent, Theia. You possess a brilliant talent." He utters whilst his fingertips gently swipe across the drawings following the lines of my sketches.

My cheeks burn to his compliment, it makes me warm from within. He is the only one who takes my side in everything that truly matters to me.

"Father does not approve when I draw or paint for he says it is a misuse of time and I should be doing other things that matter for my growth," I respond with a hint of sadness that erupts within me.

Ocean blues take a complete sweep of the room once more in reaction to my words. "Is this why you do not possess much art supplies?"

My eyes widen to his question whilst a sense of embarrassment settles in. "Y-Yes. I am not allowed to have much. I manage with what Cronus secretly borrows from the packhouse for me."

Silence consumes as he turns to face me with a tilt of his head. "If I had known prior, I would have brought you art supplies that would last you years, little one." He murmurs upset with himself, as though he had lost a final chance to make my desire come true.

"It is all right. You can give me some later one, perhaps even next month." He tenses to my words a slight bend to his spine, a frown to his lips. I notice even the most diminutive changes of his body and emotions, I have been mastering the \'uncovering\' he taught me. I am not entirely skilled at it but I tend to be when it comes to him. I will not tell him of my self-training just yet, perhaps I shall surprise him when he least expects it.

A weak forced smile settles upon his face, as he peers down at me. "Come I wish to show you someone very important to me." I beckon him to come closer whilst taking a seat on my bed.

"Someone more important than me?" He questions eyes narrowing playfully. Heavy feet sink deep onto the wooden floor as he marches towards me.

"No wolf is more important to me than you, Phobos." I deliver to him my instantaneous truth. He must know just how much I treasure our friendship.

His eyes soften as he seeks to take a seat beside me. He tries to settle as he wriggles around swaying his body side to side attempting to find a spot that can sustain him. He is too huge for my bed, it seems as though he could annihilate it if he laid his entire body upon it.

"Should we perhaps sit on the carpet?" I giggle as he sighs in exhaustion filled with defeat. The bed has won.

"Yes, that would be a better idea." A short laugh leaves his lips as he descends to the floor with relief.

"Would you like to see him?" I question as he gives me a curt dip of confirmation whilst fixing the back of his shirt that seems to be dishevelled with his constant movement.

I seize my teddy bear and shove it right in front of his eyes that broaden slightly to the sudden impact. "Meet Winnie."

"Oh, it is a teddy bear." He says his voice teasing tone flat and unsurprised. Perhaps he had expected it to be a pet.

"Yes, I sleep with him every night. I cherish him a lot. I have had him since I was two."

"Hello there, Winnie." He chuckles picking up the coffee-coloured bear from my hand having a genuine look at him. "He is quite adorable I must say, just as you are."

"I love him, I received him as a present from mother," I mutter whilst fixing Winnie\'s red bow tie that seems to be out of place.

"Is that so? Then it is well deserved for I am aware of your fondness for plush toys."

"Speaking of gifts, present to me the one you brought for me. I cannot wait anymore." I squeal with delight whilst I bounce up and down on my knees.

He is agile to dive his hand into his right jeans back pocket to draw out a tiny blue velvet box. "I hope you fancy it, little one." He murmurs as he unlocks it to retrieve a necklace.

"A necklace?" I question in wonderment. I had expected several other items bit a piece of jewellery definitely not.

"Not any necklace. Study it properly."

I plod towards him squinting my eyes at his gift eager to estimate its contents. It is very pretty to look at, very sparkling too. It possesses a transparent crystal pendant of some sort and inside the pendant resides a fresh green leaf.

"There is a leaf!" I say with awe.

"It is from \'our\' tree from the castle\'s garden." He whispers as he twirls me around gently, gliding my hair to the side to hook it around my neck.

"Truly? This makes me feel closer to you, Phobos. Thank you, I appreciate it. I shall value it entirely."

"Do not remove it no matter what, little one. Make sure it is always secured around your neck for it holds a piece of both of us." He utters ocean blues registering my appearance wearing it.

"I will never remove it, I swear it. Now, I must arrange a gift for you as well. One that I can deliver to you next month when you come to visit."

"Theia, I will not come to visit you next month." His abrupt words hook me off guard, my eyes rise to meet his that seem dull and disheartened all of a sudden. His orbs resemble the gloomy grey skies outside that birth relentless rain.

"That is all right, I shall come to meet you. Now that mother and father recognise a little of our friendship they shall unquestionably let me come."

"You cannot." He is swift to strike down my optimism with his brutal words. Eyebrows sink to meet as a frown settles upon my face to his claim.

"Why? Is it because of your training? Are you that occupied, Phobos? Then tell me when we can spend time together. I shall try to urge my par-"

"I am leaving, Theia." The first flash of lightning strikes not just outdoor but within my heart. He evades my proposition, ocean blues peeled away to stare at the floor running from mine that has begun to drown in pain.

"I-I do not understand." My voice is feeble as a serious blistering tension envelopes us within the room.

"I am travelling away, to another pack. One that belongs to me, one that I must lead and protect."

A heavy sharp intake of breath is captured in by me, my heart is unsteady as an overbearing constant palpitation occurs. I knew, I always knew that one day he shall proceed to the place that beckons him. But I truly wished a miracle would happen. For me. For our friendship.

"I-I..." What can I say? Rather what should I say at this moment?

"I believed we could spend infinite time together and I could watch you thrive. But he will not let that happen. I must do this to keep you safe." He mutters hands gripped together, a sign of his nervousness. The nervousness of my potential reaction to his truth.

"Safe from who?"

"Safe from me." He whispers raising his unsettled orbs to meet mine.

"Who won\'t let you Phobos? Perhaps I can talk to him and-" I stop myself as my teeth plunge deep into my lower lip with a cruelty instilling self pain. And do what? What can a ten-year-old do? Powerless. I am so gut-wrenchingly powerless.

"I am sorry, little one. I possess no choice. My hands are shackled." He murmurs as he clenches his trembling fists with an inbound fury that pokes at him within.

"When? When are you leaving?" I ask. Perhaps I shall be able to acquire enough time to suspend this, to somehow assist him with this. If he departs then I will truly be...alone. Do not cry, Theia. Hold it in. Hold it i-

"Now." My eyes swell to his words as I succumb to my inner battle and let go of my raging emotions. My lips quiver with a grievous strain whilst I begin to squirm backwards farther away from his heat which I adore. "Theia." He beckons my name with a worrying mellowness.

The thunder outside roars with severe violence, but that is nothing compared to what I feel of his sudden exit that has come into the light for me to witness. "Now? How can you leave now?" My voice is faint, I am unable to speak well. I am bound by my overwhelming thoughts.

"That is why I came to visit you so I can say my farewell to you."

"You wasted five months, Phobos. You couldn\'t tell me before. You tell me minutes before your flight. How is this fair?" I scream at him, the first I have ever raised my voice at him. Tears trickle down my cheeks with a fierceness as I watch him with my soaring storm at his choices. If he had told me before I would have had time to adjust to this sudden change, to create more memories with him.

"It had to be done this way." He is calm as always, an emotionless male who will never give anything away.

"Is this why you presented me this necklace? Then I do not need it. Take it back! Take it back!" I shriek trying to snap it away from my neck. My sight is blurry, I cannot discern anything well. Is this his goodbye present?

My irritation rises and I start to hurl whatever I possess around me at him. Pillows, coloured pencils, blank sheets of paper. Cruel male. I hate you. I hate you. I hate- Please don\'t go.

"Theia." He pleads tenderly dodging my every attack with ease creeping towards me hoping to calm my outburst.

"Please don\'t leave. Please. I won\'t bother you. I will be a good pup, just stay." I sob noisily as he seizes me and swiftly hoists me up despite my ineffective protests to set me upon his lap. Large warm hands draw me to his chest. His heart thumps with a wild ferocity as though he is in distress as well, this he is unable to shield.

"It is not because of you, little one. It is because of what I am." His eyes tensed shut he rubs my back mildly as shrill cries quake my flesh.

This pack he speaks of, I know it is quite remote from here. It takes several days to travel and it all depends on whether the weather shall let him pass. I know if he goes, seeing him will get very challenging.

"What has happened?" My brother barges in along with Deimos hot on his heels both with a bothered look upon their features.

"Don\'t leave." I plead meekly with Phobos gripping the material of his shirt nestling more rooted into his chest, inhaling his distinct scent as he rocks us back and forth seeking to soothe my torment.

"Phobos is leaving today," Deimos utters with a deep sigh of understanding.

"Leaving? Where?" My brother questions with confusion.

"To his pack, it is time for his reign. He kept delaying it for years but his seat demands him."

"No, please. You knew, Deimos. You knew and you didn\'t tell me! Why?" I scream at the shocked male striking him with my knives of fury. Why did they both conceal his retreat from me? Why tell me a few minutes before leaving? He is the only true friend I possess, I do not wish to lose him.

"Hush now, Theia," Phobos whispers bumping his nose onto my damp cheek patting my back with tenderness. "Look at me." He draws me to peer up at him. With blurry eyes, tears stained cheeks and a dripping nose I pay heed to his words.

"This is unfair, Phobos." I hiccup trying to take heavy breaths for my lungs are deprived due to my unstopping burdensome cries.

"I know. I know, little one. But I need your strength, I am fighting a bloody battle within me Theia and I require your aid."

"Is it hard for you? Is it something you are unable to do?" I question my voice faint as I receive the strife he proclaims to possess.

"Yes, leaving you here is very arduous. Nothing of my past or present can compare to this but my duty to my pack is important, so I need your support for if I have it then I can ascend mountains, little one. I cannot part without your assent."

A shift of my flesh I turn to regard him clearly, Phobos needs my help. My help. For once in my life, I mustn\'t be selfish, he is so very dear to me. It is tough, very difficult. But this is the very first time Phobos has asked for my help, this is the first time he has spoken to me about his true emotions.

Understanding sinks deep to settle within the corners of my drowning mind, his pack needs him. I need him too but perhaps they need him more. Mature, I must be mature about this.

I wipe my tears with the back of my palms controlling my weepings that wish to intensify. "Thank you for being my friend all these years, Phobos." I peek at Cronus who gives me a nod of encouragement to purge my inner sentiments to him. "I shall miss you terribly but I shall...let you go."

Phobos gives me an affectionate smile of satisfaction as he ruffles my hair with pride. Pride of my might. "You never fail to make my heart swell with pride of you, Theia." He murmurs.

"Brother your ride has arrived," Deimos states from the far corner of my room pausing our bleeding parting.

Phobos catches a deep breath whilst he returns his attention to me. "Remember your training, Theia. Uphold them with honour and never stray from them. Respect your parents, support your brother. Be kind, be wild, be free and be a leader. Most of all just be yourself for you are unlike any other." Why is he speaking in such a way? As though this is his final farewell, as though we shall never encounter the other again? Do not tell me these things Phobos, do not be this brutal.

"Thank you for being a great friend to my sister, Pho...Alpha Phobos." My brother states with a formality quick to accept the juvenile\'s sudden departure. He is able to concede to this situation much better than I. In many ways, I still seem to be a pup.

Phobos grants my brother a smile of acknowledgement whilst he arises from the floor. I perceive he possesses no belongings with him, he is going as he is. Perhaps this is all that his pack demands from him. They merely want him, their Alpha.

I stand with him clutching Winne tightly in my hands hoping he shall give me support throughout our goodbye. I accompany him outside our home with quietness as I clench my fists with a stiffness hoping my nails would sink into flesh and I would bleed. I would rather feel the pain of the body than the pain of the heart.

There is a bottomless depressing muteness amongst the four of us, three pups and one juvenile. The future is always uncertain and we do not know when we shall meet the juvenile who is to be Alpha again. This is what troubles us. It is almost like we are losing a member of our tiny intimate crew.

"I hope your journey is safe brother, the weather occupies its own wrath today," Deimos whispers from behind us. Indeed, it is as though the sky is mourning our separation.

"Has he told his farewell wishes to your parents?" Cronus questions discreetly.

"Yes, we consumed an entire day together as a family. Our pack is proud of his reign, they celebrated this with him." Deimos replies with a hint of contentedness in his voice reminiscing on the events.

Whilst Phobos sits in the parked truck, my heart solidifies with an urge to release my anguish. Ocean blues never leave mine whilst he seals the door behind him. As the engine rumbles to life, I begin to lament once more.

"Theia, he shall return. Do not cry." Cronus tugs me to his side offering me a hug of succour. How can he be assured? Phobos might not wish to return, as he grows his attitudes shall change. He might not even remember me. There are so many probabilities.

How can I make him remember me? How can I make him remeb- I gaze down at my teddy who hangs loosely from my hand. Winnie.

"Wait!" I yell aloud from the abyss of my throat. Deimos and Cronus startle at my sudden outburst.

My mind does not think yet my body surges to my desire as I dart behind the truck as fast as my legs can take me. The rain\'s tyranny that beats against my flesh is disregarded as I chase the departing vehicle which accommodates my friend.

"Phobos! Wait!" I weep breathlessly my body soaked my heart pounding to my abrupt pursuit.

As though he overheard my cry, the pickup screeches to a standstill farther ahead of me. A concerned Phobos leaps out ocean blues submerging in desolation under the downpour.

"What are you doing, little one?" His voice distressed whilst I race forward towards his beckoning heat. He kneels upon the soggy ground, arms wide open preparing for our collision.

I fall into him whilst he clutches onto me laying his palm across the back of my head. I ram my face into the scruff of his neck weeping with a frenzied fervour. "T-Take W-Winnie." I stutter shivering vigorously to the freezing downpour whilst shoving my bear onto his chest.

"But he is yours."

"Keep him safe for me. Do not forget me, Phobos." Muffled vibrating whines of melancholy leave my chest.

"I shall protect him, little one. You will be in my soul every second of the day, Theia."

"Promise me you will call once a month" I hold him firmer breathing in his scent that always lured me into a tremendous warmth. There is a dire hesitance I sense from him before his response.

"I promise."

"Promise me you will visit as much as you can."

"I promise."

"Promise me you will come every year on my birthday."

"I promise."

~~

Deceiver. He was a liar for he nevermore returned to me. At the end of that very year, I understood what it meant to mourn a loss for Alpha Ares and Luna Aphrodite died in an accident. Phobos chose to not appear when we buried his parents, he neither arrived to comfort his brother who tore his lungs out in agony of his parent\'s death.

It wasn\'t merely days or months that passed without his existence but painfully long brutal years. Years I struggled growing up striving to embrace the transformations of my body and my life as I progressed from the age of ten to eighteen. Maturing to a juvenile had me reminiscing of him with a sharp intensity, it chained and caged me. A relentless feeling of aching to feel the tips of his fingers upon my flesh.

It was wrong and dishonourable, I knew this. He was not my male, but everything about it felt so right. Everything about him felt so reasonable. The endless anxiety of him having found his female made my soul ache and bleed, I resented how he made me feel. These emotions flooded me each year I ripened.

Thoughts of him never ceased to consume me mighty and unyielding usually on raw freezing lonesome nights. I did not understand why but I intimately yearned for him, burying it until my friendship with him shifted to a searing intoxicating secret crush that set me aflame. Memories of him were held passionately for years yet I felt his essence disappear a little each day until what was left between us were nothing but his broken promises.

~~~

A/N

Hello, my little wolves,

I hope you all enjoyed this chappy. So someone seems to have developed a blazing crush Two more chappies left for the \'present\' timeline The next two chappies Theia will be an 18-year-old mature juvenile. Prepare for some heat Thank you for the love and support.

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